If you stay in Phythia
by Teen with a pen
Summary: "Mother… if I go to Troy, and all happens as you say," he began cautiously, "What will become of Patroclus?" Thetis licked her lips, then stared at her son with such intensity that Achilles almost cowered. "A slit throat is a very painful way to die, Achilles."


"If you stay in Phthia…you will find peace. You will find a wonderful woman, you will have sons and daughters and they will have children, and they will love you. When you are gone, they will remember you."

Thetis paused and smiled fondly at her son who was surveying her. She sighed. "But when your children are dead, and their children after them, your name will be lost."

Achilles said nothing.

"If you go to Troy," Thetis went on, countering herself, "Glory will be yours. They will write stories about your victories for thousands of years. The world will remember your name." She didn't miss the way her sons eyes came alive and sparkled at the thought. "But if you go to Troy," she continued mournfully, reaching up to stroke his cheek, "Well, you will never come home. For your glory walks hand in hand with your doom." She downcast her gaze, "And I shall never see you again."

Achilles looked at the goddess. "You know this to be true, mother?" He questioned.

"I know this," she replied solemnly.

The great warrior's eyes shifted out to the distance. If he was being honest with himself it wasn't a hard choice. In his opinion, death was a fair price for immortality.

"Mother I…"

He was interrupted when a shining object came shooting out of nowhere into the water near Thetis' feet, startling them both. Achilles was down on his knees in an instant, warrior instincts kicking in as he picked the object up out of the lagoon, expecting some sort of dangerous object...

and found a coin.

Achilles sighed, recognizing the object immediately. It was a particularly special coin from Athens which his cousin had purchased in the marketplace when he had taken him there on a political voyage, which he now kept as a good luck charm.

'But what is it doing ou…'

Achilles' thought was interrupted as he heard someone panting, sprinting through the shallow water up behind him. He turned around, and sure enough, there was the owner of the coin, his cousin Patroclus, carrying at his side the culprit of the accident… a slingshot.

Achilles couldn't help but grin at the frantic look on his cousin's face.

"Cousin..." The boy panted, bending at the waist to catch his breath, "Did you find…coin…lost…shot too far…" He trailed off, too out of breath to continue.

Achilles laughed heartedly at his cousin and held up the coin inspecting it for show, "You know Patroclus, I'm glad you're here. Some imbecile had the nerve to shoot this peculiar coin at your Aunt Thetis and I, so I need you to help me track them down and teach them a lesson."

Patroclus saw the jest in his cousin's eyes and smiled, sighing with relief. "Forgive me cousin, I was trying out my new slingshot and…"

"Patroclus," Achilles cut him off, "It's alright."

The boy nodded, stepping over to his aunt. "Aunt Thetis, forgive me."

The woman smiled and stroked his hair in a motherly way. "It's alright my boy. No harm was done."

Patroclus turned back to his older cousin, reaching out to take the coin, which the elder playfully snatched away, mirth and a challenge in his eyes. Patroclus attempted to grab the coin he (which he held quite dear) again, only to have it jerked back by his cousin, held high above his head where he couldn't reach it.

"Jump for it, tenderfoot." Achilles mocked, using the boy's childhood nickname.

The boy leaped up over and over, grasping in vain for the coin and only catching air as each time it was jerked further away from him.

"Achilles!" He cried in between lunges, "Cousin…Give…it…back!"

Achilles laughed, shaking his free finger playfully, "Now, now little cousin, that's not very polite!"

"I'll show you polite!" Patroclus declared with a smile, before he caught the older man in a flying tackle, bringing both cousins down into the shallow, cool water into a playful wrestling match, Achilles being careful the whole time never to lose the coin, or hurt his cousin.

Neither cousin noticed Thetis watching from the distant shade, smiling at them like a proud mother. She especially observed Achilles, who she knew treasured the boy he currently had in a headlock more than anything else. Perhaps her darling nephew was the answer. Perhaps he would be the thing that would persuade her son, who she loved more than life itself, to stay here at home. She knew it was selfish of her to hope for this, but still, she was a mother.

"Surrender, boy!" Achilles smirked, mounting his counterpart and holding his wrists above his head.

Patroclus, knowing a losing battle when he saw one, gave in. "I surrender" he muttered in defeat, but still good-naturedly.

Satisfied, Achilles stood up and offered a hand to his cousin, who accepted. The boy was now entirely drenched from their mostly one-sided wrestling match in the shallow cove. His dirty-blond hair stuck to his shoulders and had turned darker as it always had when wet, and his long black tunic was plastered above his knees to his damp legs. He wrung out his hair upon standing, licking the salty water from his lips.

Achilles, hardly even damp for how well he had dominated the match, grinned at him fondly, taking the coin from where he had kept it during their little scuffle, inside a hidden pocket of his tunic. "Here you are, cousin." He offered the coin to the boy who was wringing out his tunic now. He accepted it with a nod.

"Y-you kn-know, Achilles…" he started through chattering teeth, for it was nearing dusk and the air was chilly, "I-I could h-have b-beat-en y-you i-if…" he trailed off, sniffling pitifully.

Achilles chuckled and pulled the cold boy into a warm embrace, "Come now little cousin, that's why we don't try to challenge Achilles, eh?" The boy nodded wordlessly into his guardian's shoulder, earning a ruffle to his already messy hair.

"Alright Patroclus," Thetis approached the pair, "Let's get you inside and warmed up. After dinner, it's straight to bed with you."

The boy began to protest but was met with maternal firmness, "Not a word young man, we don't want you getting sick."

Patroclus only nodded and, rubbing his arms to try to keep warm, ran out of the cove, back towards the home he shared with his beloved cousin.

"Such a sweet boy," Thetis mused, watching him leave. Achilles nodded, doing the same.

"He must have some magic power to lower your defenses so, my son." She commented gently.

Achilles looked towards her. "He's the last bit of innocence in my world. Though he fervently denies it, he's still such a child. I have no need to keep my guard up around a child, let alone one that I care for and cares for me so," he spoke.

Thetis' eyes sparked. "A child, yes indeed. So innocent, as you've said. So…vulnerable."

Achilles crossed his arms. _'What is she getting at?' He wondered._

The sea goddess resumed what she had been doing before the slingshot interruption, collecting shells from the sea floor. "Well, you were saying?"

Achilles was momentarily perplexed, "What?"

"Before the coin startled us and everything that followed, I had told you about the two paths before you, and you were saying something. Continue please."

Achilles knew what she meant but for the life of him couldn't remember what it was he had been going to say. "Mother, I…" he stopped, bending down with a scoff and a grin. "He left his slingshot." He remarked, picking up the object, noticing that since he had gifted it to him the boy he had engraved his name on to the side with a carving knife. Achilles studied the letters as if he'd never seen his cousins name before. Thetis watched him.

Then, something clicked.

Achilles furrowed his brows, wondering how he'd not thought of this before, and stroked the letters of his cousin's name before looking up into the blue eyes of his mother identical to his own and the boys. They stared back at him, already knowing his question.

"Mother… if I go to Troy, and all happens as you say," he began cautiously, "What will become of Patroclus?"

Thetis, at this, looked down, stroking the shells in her hands, and then back up again, calmly. "My son, if you go to Troy, you know you will bring Patroclus along."

Achilles nodded.

"I know that it does not concern you much whether you return home. But… even a great warrior, even you, the greatest, can not withstand the pain that awaits you when fate works her ways on Patroclus."

Achilles stared at his mother, greatly un-eased. "Mother, you are speaking in riddles. What will happen to Patroclus if we go to Troy?"

Thetis licked her lips, then stared at her son with such intensity that Achilles _almost_ cowered. Almost.

"A slit throat is a very painful way to die, Achilles."

At this, the man couldn't hold back a gasp.

"You don't mean…?"

"Yes, my son." Thetis confirmed. "If you go to Troy, you will not be the only one of this family who never comes home."

Achilles suddenly felt that he would be sick. He forced himself to breathe deeply at this revelation and sat down on a nearby rock, raking his fingers furiously through his damp blond hair.

Thetis walked over and rubbed comforting circles onto his back, understanding his dilemma. Achieving the glory he desperately craved would come not only at the cost of his own life, but the life of the one he held most dearly, as well.

"And..." he took a last attempt, "What if I were to leave him here, keep him away from Troy. What then would become of him?"

But he already knew the answer to that, and so did the goddess, who smiled sadly.

"No one wants to be orphaned twice in one lifetime, Achilles."

Achilles groaned, burying his face in his hands. ' _How could I have been so foolish?'_ He wondered. To think what he had almost done, indirectly sacrificing the life of this innocent boy for his own glory, even unknowingly. What tragedy had almost ensued of his own fault. How could he have not thought of the boy who meant everything to him?

He felt a very strong urge to run to the house and embrace him. Fiercely.

"Achilles," Thetis' voice pierced his thoughts, "There is a way to prevent this. Take him to Troy, he will die. Leave him here, it will be worse for him. But…"

"…If I do not go, he will be spared." The man finished for her. Thetis nodded.

Now, truly, the decision was easy. "Then I stay." He declared, resolutely. He had never been more sure of anything in his life.

Thetis' eyes brimmed with tears, happy ones. "Oh, my son," She spoke sympathetically, reaching out to take his callused hands in her soft ones, and rub them some. "I know that this is difficult for you…"

"No." Achilles spoke firmly. "Anything that will spare that boy is no sacrifice on my part."

Thetis nodded, "I think that is very noble and very wise of you. The boy loves you Achilles, and needs you desperately. Whether you value your own life or not and are willing to sacrifice it for glory, it means more to Patroclus than you can even fathom."

Achilles nodded his agreement, "I know mother. He is still so very young. I will allow him to fight one day, but not in this war. I myself will not fight this time."

"Well," she said, patting his hands and standing, "I do not like it, but I suppose that if you still long for fighting after Troy, there will always be another war."

Achilles smiled grimly, "That I promise you."

And, with that settled, he kissed his mother on the cheek, bid her farewell, and started back towards his homestead.

Patroclus had been surprised and frustrated when Achilles had told him that they would not be going to Troy that night at dinner.

"But why, cousin?" he had asked, completely dumbfounded

"For reasons, Patroclus."

"This will undoubtedly be the greatest war our world has ever scene. The heroes of it will do down in history, have their names written in stone, music composed in their honor surely you…"

"Cousin" Achilles stopped him, gently but firmly. "Perhaps when you are older, I will tell you all that I know about this, but for now, all you need know is that I talked with your Aunt, and our going to Troy would only result in grief and loss," he swallowed, "For _both_ of us."

Patroclus eyes changed, now more curious than accusatory, "Cousin…"

Achilles looked at him, making burning eye contact, matching blue with blue. "I will _not_ lose you Patroclus. I will not even take the risk of doing so, and unfortunately, in this war of Troy there is too great a risk that something… _happens…_ to either one of us."

"But, Achilles, there has always been that risk before." Patroclus countered.

Achilles conceded, "That is true. But I have never taken you with me. This was to be the first time you accompanied me to a war, not even into combat mind you, and it is my decision that this particular war is simply too grand and too bloodthirsty. Therefore, I will not go, for both our sakes." Achilles concluded.

Patroclus nodded, understanding more now, but bothered by how uneasy his cousin seemed.

"Cousin, you seem upset," he started gently.

Achilles looked back up from his plate to the boy, his hair, even now, still damp from their spontaneous wrestling match in the cove. Ink on his hands from where he had been drawing earlier. Candlelight from the room illuminating his shining, innocent eyes that had never known the horrors that kept Achilles awake late into the night. Then, he thought of the image Thetis had warned him of. His cousin, sweet and innocent, lying on a foreign beach, bleeding from his throat, crying his blue eyes out.

It was too much for him to ponder.

Patroclus, suddenly, found himself in a crushing embrace from his guardian, who had come from around the table where he sat opposite to him, and taken him in his arms, stroking his damp hair.

"Oh Patroclus," he sighed into the boy's soft locks, "I will tell you one day. But for tonight, can you just accept that I wish only for your safety and happiness? Please?" He murmured this in a tone reserved only for Patroclus. It wasn't quite vulnerable, but it was as close as one could get.

Patroclus, shocked by the sudden loving words and embrace, pushed his cousin gently back at arm's length, just enough so he could look into his identical blue eyes. "I'm alright, cousin

Nothings going to happen to me," he reassured him.

Achilles smiled softly, and pulled the boy back to him so that the younger's ear rested near his guardians lips.

"You're exactly right Patroclus," the great warrior murmured, "Not while I roam this earth. I'd die first."

 _ **Fin**_


End file.
